Matt Kendall Interviewed On Iemt And The Self Development Industry

This is modern mindset the show will be discussed the psychology and emotion of Finance and business I’m your host Adam Cox and joining me today is Matt Kendell who is an IE MT trainer and public speaker welcome to the show hello how you doing today very well indeed very well thanks for joining us and first of all I.

Guess the key question is ie MT what is that well IMT is very similar to EMDR which people probably.

Don’t know either op IMT is an eye movement therapy it stands for integral integral eye movement therapy or technique it’s essentially it’s a tool and it’s also a way of working and it helps people to be brought out of negative experiences from their past it helps.

People to update their identity so essentially it helped people – it works brilliantly.

On things like anxiety it does not work on emotion but what through the whole basis of IMT is this it does not work on emotion it works on the memory that is.

The emotion so say if somebody feels guilty all the time or unhappy or anxious or.

Not an emotion actually that’s.

An overstimulation nervous system it tends to come from guilt or panic or or anger so say somebody’s got say somebody’s got a temper you find out how strong that feeling.

Is then you regress it to when they felt the first time the remember feeling that way and then you then apply the eye movements on that sensitizing memory and then you’re trying to recalibrate what the problem is you’re trying to reconstruct the problem and every time you’re trying to reconstruct it you’ll find it’s changed a bit so then we’ll take the feeling what’s new now and.

– and the first started that way essentially it’s like deconstructing a cocktail of emotion so you’re going back so each.

Problem that you’ve faced will tend to have like about three or four sensitizing events that we take the client back to and you shouldn’t begin to process and then there’s no outcome to it it’s an exploration of the problem and you tend to get one of two changes either a change in the sub modalities so imagine that the first memory or when.

You access a memory is like subjective so it’s like you’re there it’s nine out of ten in strain it’s clear is in focus and it’s a movie that’s likely.

To become objective which means you’re seeing it from a different perspective.
It’ll feel further away in space and in.

Time because what happens you get age progression it’ll be less colorful you might not be able to get it at all it’ll drop in significance and the other thing that can also happen is a change of meaning so because what happens is that say that something happened to you when you are seven years old when you’re accessing.

That memory you’re regressing to that age as you’re accessing it what IMT allows you to do to allows you to go back and view that memory as you are today and when you view it from as you are today it changes it so a good example is that one of my favorite films growing up was Terminator 2 Terminator 2 I used to watch when I.

Was like 14 15 and the effects were amazing the story was absolutely great I actually watched it a couple of months ago and I was like what what’s this it looked cheap and tacky and ins but the thing is when I thought about Terminator 2 I don’t think about it as a 37 year old watching I think about is.

A 15 year old watching it so when I watched it now it looked completely different and it meant something very different to me that has not changed but I have so when I access it now or what and I watched it now it meant something completely different and so that’s what IMT is really based on it basically is about going back to these sensitizing memories and processing.

Them so the change can occur and essentially what this means is that in your present day your decisions are now based on the information in front of you not because of the emotional connection to things and also you learn a lot about yourself because you probably don’t know what these sensitizing memories are hmm so going back to these things you actually learn an awful lot about yourself as well things have changed in between and it does sound remarkably similar.

To EMDR which you know for those people that aren’t familiar with that has applications in things like PTSD and things like that because quite often people will relive the very moment that caused the trauma so.

It completely associated and it give than the ability to actually move on from that that that key then it really does that what a couple of the differences are.

Because we do get quite this question a lot one of the main differences between EMDR and IMT is that I EMT doesn’t just work on memory it works on the emotion and you regress that the kinesthetic response to take it back to how you learned how to feel this way and then you work on that memory with.

I with the MDR you you know what you’re working on straightaway plus from what I believe with the MDR you construct a picture to represent that thing with IMT you actually work on.

What the memory is so if it’s a movie it’s a movie if it’s a seizure pitch it’s.

A series of pictures plus there’s no belief system work in IE MT with the MDR you think of the I think you think about the belief you want or what the belief is I’m not quite sure with IMTS what’s the problem hold the problem it’s got nothing to do with positivity or or trying to change.

Something or trying to change something from a negative to a positive belief it just works on the negative and I guess using phrases like sub modalities you know having an idea of NLP and the differences to pay attention in terms of internal representations probably helps if you’re working with people.

To notice what’s changed in terms of how they’re perceiving that that thought well it’s IMT is very much about recalibrating so cuz things people don’t know how to measure their experience.

But with IMT it’s very precise if something is a movie feels a strength of nine out of ten is so subjective and it’s clear well if it changes to being five out of ten is objective it was a movie now as a pitch you.

Can actually be very precise on how that’s changed and you’re teaching the clients have had it because the things they might say it’s still there it’s still.

There but it’s massively different hmm what one of the things that I find quite fascinating with you is that you’re in.

What Measures Success And Personal Growth

Hey guys welcome to my channel if you’re new here I talk about therapeutic things life quotes life challenges life changes or how to live today specifically I want to talk about something that happened earlier which led me to come up with a quote so I went to the barber shop and my barber had about four clients ahead of.

Me so the owner of the barber shop said hey why don’t you go to this guy this week and then you know the next time you come you can go back to your barber.

I’ve seen the guy before he has been working there for maybe about 2-3 months now so if he’s working there he has to be a good bar my barber usually takes about an hour this guy took about 30 minutes to cut my hair he literally and did this on my hair and when you were cutting someone with a certain type of hair growth.

You have to cut along the grain to make sure that the waves align the right way so he’s cutting my hair and I’m watching him he’s giving me a shape up on him watching him so after I got my haircut I went up to the registers my barber came and was checking me out I guess the guy he I don’t know why I guess he doesn’t know money so I said to my barber.

You know could you let your guy know that it’s not about the end result it’s about the process which leads me to share with you it is not about arriving the end or simply just accomplishing it is about the.

Process it is about the journey it is about the things you endured as you went ahead and did what you’re supposed to do in order to become successful if Thanksgiving is.

Coming up you could be watching this video April but it is November now so when you think about Thanksgiving and you think about making turkey and all the stuff that people eat on Thanksgiving you have to spend the amount of time to add the seasoning you have.

To leave it for a certain time to sit you have to let it bake for a certain time you have to.

Let it cook for a certain time so that the juices can flow and when it comes out of the oven you can feel satisfied and feel like you accomplished something awesome if you rush to throw something together a last minute for Thanksgiving you’re not gonna feel the same way when you take it out of the oven and you’re probably gonna complain the whole time Oh.

Guys I didn’t have enough time to make this bla bla bla bla bla bla bla that’s.
How I felt at the end when he finished.

Cutting my hair so you may be thinking well your hair looks fine.

But my barber usually does a better better better job than this guy does anyways so I want to let you know if you’re working if you’re in school if you’re studying if you are planning a trip if you are doing something enjoy the process and don’t rush ahead to complete it let’s say.

You’re 35 and you you you don’t have a bachelor’s degree and you going back to school you’re.

Gonna feel like you want to rush.

The process to get your degree but how about enjoying the process to get your bachelor’s degree instead of rushing ahead to complete it half hazard lis going forward wherever you are in your personal.

Life I want to let you know to enjoy the process of your life to enjoy the journey of your life to enjoy the lessons off your life do what you’re doing and do it to the best of your ability spend the time to do what you’re doing spend the.

Time to enjoy what you’re doing and because you’re gonna find yourself coming out and actually enjoying your degree or enjoying your accomplishment during the process during the journey you’re gonna learn a lot of things about yourself if you cut around you may get that degree but you may not have the skills or the experience or the knowledge to work in the field that you want to work into instead of enjoying the process in acquiring all the goals of skills the.

Mindset intelligence maturity and all these different things to accomplish what you wanna do in life I consider every day to be a learning process I’m learning everyday through Jesus Christ God is teaching me every day to just be who he called me to be he’s teaching me about being.

You know not about doing because when you’d be then you do so don’t rush ahead to just doo.

Doo doo doo but simply just be and enjoy the process of your life life is a journey it is a process and that’s what is beautiful.

About life donal Russia had competed with society and thinking oh this person is 20 and they they’re in my class and I’m 45 and they’re in my class no doesn’t matter enjoy the.
Process of your life going forward into a rush ahead..

The Importance Of Personal Development @ Detroit Roses 2nd Annual Youth Empowerment Program

What up though my name is Lamont our aka tank aka de knowledge bank and we are here for the second annual youth empowerment program powered by deterrent roses first off I would like to thank Detroit roses for the opportunity to be invited to speak today I’m so grateful and thankful to be here to share information to share my.

Experiences with these young kids just giving them information that they can use to apply in their life if you believe that attitude is everything you can have anything in your life because your attitude is everything go ahead and hit that like button and subscribe let’s get it stay.

Tuned go ahead and get started so first off like she said my name is Lamont’s Howard aka tank aka the knowledge bank I’m from right here in.

Detroit Michigan I was born on the west side and sign in our Hospital and I.

Of Detroit Michigan then when I was in the sixth grade we moved to Belleville I want to benefit high school I played sports there love football those sports my whole life now is my way out iceworm go to the NFL but I was not a complete student-athlete being a student.

And an athlete is very important you have to be both of those things so from there I went to Defiance college and I played Division three football there transferred from Defiance college I went to Central Michigan University and at center mr. University is where my life totally changed I did not.

Make the football team as I thought and I was completely devastated whoever had a something happened to them in their life they were just completely devastated and you didn’t know what to do next I didn’t know what to do next and from there that’s how a father like what am I.

Going to do math football is my dream that was my passion that’s what I was going to make it up you see coming from here in Detroit I was only presented with a few ways to make it out to make a living for my.

Family that was get a nine-to-five job and support my family become a rapper and support my family sell drugs and.

Support my family or play sports what I wanted to do.

Is play sport so I went that long and when that didn’t happen really didn’t know what to do next so what happened was I got introduced by a group and an organization of people that can that totally changed my life because before this moment before I was here stand and top it to you today I was just a normal kid from Detroit that only like sports I did not take school seriously I did not like school at all so when it comes to that am I like totally changing to.

The appreciative education to appreciating.

The books and the knowledge along until appreciate all the knowledge that was being given to me.

My whole life totally changed alright I want to tell you what changed my life but thinking that change my life it has helped many people this helps Bill Gates it’s helped Oprah Winfrey is healthier favorite actor or afternoon whoever.

There may be it is the one thing that elevates people no matter where they start I don’t care if you starting at the bottom I don’t care if you start at the middle or at the top it will help you to continue to level up in life and what that thing is is personal development everybody sail with you come on.

Clear Clutter From Your Life / The Greatest Gift – Self Development Meditation With Dr. Lalittaa

Bring the change by being it because no matter where you run you will always end up running into yourself and in the end it all happened in your head clear the clutter from your life that is hindering the ability to be yourself we are confined by the things we tell ourselves listen to how you speak to yourself we.

Are only limited by our own imagination when you can’t control what is happening challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening that is where.

The power lies no one can make you feel inferior without your consent what causes you pain teaches you valuable life lessons some.

Of the greatest gifts you can give someone is your time your attention your love your concern the ones who notice the storms in your eyes the silence in your voice and the happiness in your heart are the ones to keep close what you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals your self-worth depends on you it does not depend on what others say about you.

My Favorite Books | Law Of Attraction | Self Development

Hey you’re probably here because you want to see what books I recommend for the BYZ communities so just keep watching I got a lot of books that a girl reads I am a bookworm I love reading and I hope you do too I love self-development books and books that help you become a better person one of my favorite.

Favorite books as well is outwitting the devil go check it out it’s an amazing book you can buy a paper copy on Amazon or wherever else you.

Would love to go read your books but go ahead and proceed to the rest of this video because I got some more books in store for you hey guys welcome to the byv community if you are a new viewer hello it’s so glad to see you on our channel my name is community Lee I am the owner and founder.

Of billion financial empire LLC in this video we are going to be speaking on some of my favorite books their majority self development because I really focus on the mind a lot especially with my students because I want everybody to understand the concept of having a powerful mind need you have a powerful life which means that you can live the life that you desire on your.

Turn so I’m gonna give you guys just some books that I recommend that I fell in love with or that.

I read overall there are some books that I may be in the process of still reading or I haven’t quite got to yet but trust me if I have these books is because I enjoy them myself so overall go to the book store try to go on Amazon see if there’s any like audiobooks if you’re really not much of a reader or you could just go on Amazon and.

Buy the paperback copies whatever works for you it doesn’t matter you.

Can find majority of these books and regular bookstores.

Or just go to the library and have fun so overall I’m gonna go ahead and go in you guys have any questions or comment area please leave that below I look forward to seeing what you guys think about these books and if you’ve read in any of them yourself so starting off I love this.

Book it’s Cod never get angry again it’s by David J and he basically speaks on the mind he speaks about what you need to understand on how to control your anger and what.

Are the steps that you should take it’s.

Definitely something I would say professors probably recommended at one point overawed definitely take initiative to get this if you’re one of those people who feel like you impulsively get angry a lot or you just seem to.

Not be able to control your anger as much as you would like this is a book to definitely consider you’re just taking some time to.

Read even if it’s thirty minutes before going to bed or whatever the case.

May be just try to dedicate some time to reading it is great for the brain so I.

Will also have that probably in the picture below so you guys would be able to see it more clearly but these are one of the books.

That I love as well another book as we.

All know is the secret I told you guys about this book I don’t know how many times all of my other videos if you guys are new and you’re.

Like okay she has just go watching them you’ll see for yourself I talked about the secret and Rhonda Bryan all the time because it was my first introduction to learning about what the law of attraction is and how it works in your life so definitely take that into consideration when you are looking at these books it’s a best-seller so it does really really good a lot of people.

Who have read it and it’s also a movie on.

Netflix so if you are also not a reader just watch the movie but the book is amazing it breaks down the steps of applying the law of attraction in your life I am a big advocate of reading books over again so go ahead and read it twelve times if you want to it really helps you and it’s just a great book I love it so it’s called the secret to the anniversary edition Rhonda.

Bryan so you can find it on Amazon or wherever else you need to another book by Rhonda.

Bryant is the magic by the way this is not in order so if you want the books in order or you want a package deal Amazon again but overall the magic basically is Rhonda Bryan speaking on the law of attraction as well and how.

You can apply it in your life even more so please please.

Get this book it’s just as good as the first one alright.

Another book that I love so much is askgaryvee okay he has a lot of books that help a lot of people who are upcoming entrepreneurs or just really really trying to go in the right direction with their business or starting.

Something for themselves so this is something you should definitely take consideration into it talks about social media it’s one entrepreneurs take on leadership social media and self-awareness okay so.

It’s called askgaryvee you will see it the cover should look like this black all of the above he has a lot of books so be mindful on that but overall though I really love this book as well another amazing book that everybody has probably already told you is Robert Kiyosaki’s book Rich Dad Poor Dad I love it so much because.

It talks about real estate and how he grew up and basically his way of thinking and it really shaped my way of thinking especially when it comes to finances and how to deal with money so if you.

Want any guidance on that definitely take consideration into reading this book it’s also funny in my opinion so read it you’ll.

Love it ok another one is Gary be crushing it ok this actually kind of went viral there’s a lot of people all over social media saying they wanted to buy it I was kind of like one of the first people to get it I was trying to get it first first day it was out definitely go for it’s another Gary Vee special and crushing it he talks about business he talks about social media and he talks about what you need to be leveraging now so go for it.

It’s just as amazing as the other ones ok another book that I read in full is the millionaire mind ok it’s another book that probably professors or anybody else in business management has tried to get their students to read the reason why is because it talks about what millionaires are thinking what they think.

About do they have marriages are they single the percent towel of like certain areas they live in and things like that so you get to learn a lot about what it’s like to think like a millionaire and you.

May be surprised and realize that you may think like a millionaire you didn’t even know it so.

Let's Sort Each Other Out! (rational Self Help Community App)

Hi everyone I guess I have to apologize for not posting anything for two weeks as you might know I committed to posting two videos per week but I haven’t been working I haven’t been posting any videos the last weeks and the reason is because I finally wanted to update the community application the application formerly known as sorters Club.

I’m not sure I want to drop the name completely I guess it’s going to be the nickname and now has a new URL anyway.

If you end up on Nick red mark calm as you can see here there is a new thing which.

Is the community which will lead you to app dot red map directly anyway the community for the ones among you who don’t know it it’s my attempt to create something where people can improve their own life but kind of have that as a shared experience so you can imagine that as a kind of an to do or an application that I will extend over time with more and more features from what I learned from coaching and self development and so on but then there should it should be kind of an.

Experience that is shared with other people so I’m going to log in with my to see it looks like you if you have if you already have an account on sorta stop you still have one now if you didn’t create one now for the.

New people you have to become a patron so you can still create an account but then it will ask you to basically become a patron and you can become a patron from from one dollar a month and the reason is zero I guess all of these is or should become a business.

And and the reason is because if I can earn money while doing this it’s.

Going to be way more powerful than something done part-time so yes so dashboard this is the home basically it’s going to be a dashboard where you.

Have you could configure projects and you have to think about your projects as like the big areas of your life so there.

Is one project that I have already which is book so I advise you if you create a new.

Account to create a project about books so you can create a new project here and then click on books which means that everything that you create within that project will be basically a book that you want to read and so how does this work let me actually create a new project here so for example something that I.

My health so what you see here is the description of of that project and here you see the journal basically this journal is going to grow over time and organized by date so for example here now I’ve just created a project you can create a journal entry so I create a post.

And you see it appeared in the journal now this is basically when you want to check in on a regular basis and say I have been struggling with my goals or I haven’t been.

Doing it or I’m happy I’ve been doing making progress but then here you can add to deuce so for example one to do for me it would be an online training program that I’m doing so and since I already started with it I add it to the doing this and and here you can see like I can check it when it’s.

Done and with it will end up in the journal otherwise I can send it back to the to-do list and that is that when you log into the to this community the first thing you see basically is your main project like an overview over your life over the areas of your.

Life I will really would recommend you to add like the main things like career working.

Out maybe some hobby oh and I guess the reading list is a good one and so you can come here you see the things you have been focusing on and and you can see whether you’ve made progress here what you can see is your own profile which is again like a journal of everything you’ve.

Been doing and you can here to create the journal entry and then you can move on and see.

Have the profile please you can here you can kind of edit all these nice information that you see up here and.

Then the community page the community page basically shows a summary of everything that’s going on in the community please it has been a major update since last time I modified this which has been a while ago and I hope this is going to grow and we are going to.

Help each other sort each other out and I’m happy for feedback there might be some bug’s just send me a comment or something and I hope we will see each other here write a message or write a.

Journal entry and I will be.

Happy to read it and comment see you around.

How To Tell If You Actually Love Yourself

It is normal from time to time to feel negatively about yourself, but is it just an off day or is there a greater issue? Read on to find out signs that you may not really love yourself.

I haven’t always loved myself, and I am not ashamed to admit that. You shouldn’t be ashamed to admit this either.

I experienced awful self-esteem for many, many years; in fact, I would suggest that most of my life, I have felt horribly about myself. Many things contributed to this negative outlook. I was bullied severely in elementary school, to the point of experiencing anxiety when it was a school day.

I was only 7 years old. I was heavily involved in dance when I was younger, and was told I would never succeed long-term because I was too curvy. I experienced several traumatic episodes in the dating world, which left me feeling worthless.

My experience is not uncommon; in fact, many people who cope with a negative self-view have experienced this due to some sort of trauma in their younger years. This kind of self-loathing can also result from a negative experience in your adult years as well.

I can now honestly say that I truly love myself and deserve the best, and it has taken a long time to get to this place. I still have days where I feel badly about something I have done or said, or fixate on the physical parts of myself that need work. In my heart and soul though, I know this is a fleeting moment in time and it will pass.

Having true love for yourself first is essential to be happy. You have likely heard that if you do not love yourself, you cannot love another and this is so true. If you hate yourself, you are unlikely to stand up to mistreatment or will take unnecessary criticism.

You are more likely to settle for less than you deserve. On the flip side, if you love yourself, you will feel confident to disagree with a partner or friend, and know that is okay. You will not settle down with just anyone, or sacrifice your feelings and views to fill a void. You will project confidence and be successful.

So, how can you tell if you have a harmful view of yourself, rather than just an off day? Here are a few clues to watch for. Keep in mind this is not an exhaustive list. For more signs you may not love yourself, check out this article.

You engage in negative self-talk constantly

Mirror reflection of depressed woman

If you are constantly talking down to yourself, you are engaging in what counselors refer to as negative self-talk. These patterns are incredibly damaging to your self-esteem, and as well as feeling poorly about yourself, can also lead to many devastating consequences, such as addictions. Negative self-talk plays a primary role in not truly loving yourself, hence why I have a large focus on it for this article.

When you do not care about yourself in the way you should, you are apt to criticize yourself, expect perfection or even be hard on yourself for the most trivial of things. I have a tendency to be hard on myself because I am a perfectionist at heart; however, I need to be mindful of the difference between simply holding myself to high standards and being unnecessarily negative.

If you are unsure if you are engaging in negative self-talk or not, I will give you one example of a behavior you may notice, using someone I met in the past. This person would make a witty joke or ask someone a question, then, due to his negative thinking patterns, later would tell himself the other party was offended. He would experience panic attacks and anxiety, and tell himself that he was stupid for having said what he did in the first place, then needlessly apologize. If you find yourself doing this, check the kinds of thoughts you have.

Obviously, there are many more scenarios where you may engage in negative self-talk. So, how do you change this? Psych Central offers an excellent article with some helpful tips.

By challenging the thoughts you are having and working at changing your mindset and feelings about yourself, you will be able to change this pattern. If you require assistance from a trained professional in doing this, there’s absolutely no shame in seeking help. I would encourage you to find a counselor or psychologist in your area specializing in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

You do not stand up for yourself, or avoid conflict

When you feel poorly about yourself, you may think that you are unlovable. Because of this, particularly in relationships, you might not stand up for yourself in instances of mistreatment. Also, if you disagree with your partner and do voice your differences, when challenged, you may immediately retract your opinion or clarify what you “really meant.”

You are filling a void negatively

Young woman celebrating with chips on roulette table

If you have low self-esteem, you may turn to alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex or a plethora of other negative behaviors to fill that void of love within your life. If you think that you may have a problem with a substance or behavior, you likely do. Seek out treatment and support services in your area and talk to someone.

You find yourself settling in any area of your life

Are you stuck in a job you hate, but feel you will not get hired anywhere else? Are you with someone who does not make you feel loved or is abusive, but you feel you cannot do better? Do you cover up your partner’s negative behavior (addiction, abuse, etc.) because you are scared people will encourage you to leave them, and you cannot bear to be on your own? All of these things may indicate you are settling for less than you deserve.

You can change your thoughts and become a much healthier, happier person. Loving yourself may take time but know that it is possible. If you require counseling services in order to do so, seek them out. Feeling great about yourself will give you freedom and happiness, and a much better life overall.

Have you ever suffered from low self-esteem? How did you recognize it? What steps did you take to change it?

7 Simple Steps To Go From “wanting” To “getting” – Youqueen

Is there something in life that you want so bad that it is all you think about, but you just can’t seem to latch onto it? It’s on your mind first thing in the morning, several times throughout the day and again at night when you should be drifting off to a peaceful sleep?

Maybe it’s weight loss that you’re after (and have been after for years) or perhaps it’s a solid, loving and trusting relationship that you want. Could it be that you desire a new job that is both exciting and satisfying, or is it just some peace of mind that you crave?

Whatever “it” is, how do you go from wanting it to actually holding it in your hands like the prized possession that it is?

Life is too short to live with wants that go unfulfilled. So, if there is something you crave within the depths of your soul, it’s time that you went out to get it. Here are seven simple steps you can follow that will help you do just that:

Step #1: Define What You Want

blonde woman in sport outfit

You can’t go after something if you don’t know what it is, right? So, your first step is to define exactly what it is that you want. You’re going to want to be as specific as possible so that you have a clear image of it in your mind.

For instance, if it’s weight loss that you want, how many pounds do you want to lose (10, 20, 50 or 100)? Or, what size clothes do you want to fit into (are 10’s good with you or are you striving to wear 2’s)?

Perhaps you’d rather set your definition based on the physical measurements you wish to achieve (a waist under 30 inches or hips that are five inches smaller)?

Once you know precisely what end goal you plan to achieve, the more you’ll know how to make it happen – and you’ll recognize it once you achieve it.

Step #2: Know Why You Want It

Just as you need to know what it is you want, you also have to thoroughly understand why you want it. Essentially, you have to be able to articulate what it means to you.

Sticking with the previous example, you would have to understand why weight loss is so important to you. Do you equate being thin with being powerful and confident? Or, would it mean getting your health in line and maybe being able to come off from some of your medications?

Perhaps it is purely vanity reasons? You want to look good to make an old boyfriend regret the way he treated you or you want others to look at you in awe and envy. No answers are wrong here. You’re simply identifying what fuels your desire to see something in your life come to pass.

Step #3: Create a Motivator

hispanic young woman working as fashion design

Now that you have an extremely clear picture of what you want and why you want it, it’s time to get your motivation stoked hotter than hot. While it’s normally not that hard to do at the beginning of the journey because you’re all excited and ready to go, you’re also going to want to set yourself up to stay motivated during the process. Be proactive instead of reactive so you never lose your drive.

One great motivator is a vision board. This is a picture collage of all of the things that your goal represents to you. You fill it with photos and sayings that motivate and inspire you, and you look at it often so that you keep your final vision in the forefront of your mind.

Another way to motivate yourself is to surround yourself with things that remind you of your goal. Maybe you put post-it notes where you can see them or you ask friends to inspire you at regular intervals.

The more you immerse yourself in your goal, the more likely you are to see it come to pass.

Step #4: Come Up With Ways to Get It

This step is where you brainstorm all of the ways to get whatever it is that you want. Now is not the time to be rational or say no to ideas. Keep your mind open and see how many things you can come up with that will allow you to reach your final destination.

If it’s a dream job you’re after, for instance, maybe you’d want to update your LinkedIn account or start to look at job boards. You also might want to start reading books about others in that field and see what words of wisdom they have to offer. You could also look for volunteer work in that particular area that would give you a foot in the door.

Even if you think an idea is crazy, write it down. Sometimes you have to be unconventional to get what you want out of life.

Step #5: Devise a Plan

Okay, it’s time to pick some of your ideas and devise a plan. You need to figure out what you’re going to do to make this dream of yours a reality.

In the case of trying to find your dream job, you may decide to start with updating your LinkedIn profile. To achieve this, you could set some time in your schedule to research what other people are putting on their profiles or maybe you could research tips and tricks on how to make your profile more attractive to potential employers.

If you aren’t comfortable doing it yourself or need help with the words, perhaps it is something you’d rather hire out. Come up with how you plan to get your profile to read the way you want it – the way that gets you results.

Try to outline your steps in a very detailed manner. Mentally walk yourself through the entire process so that you don’t forget a critical step.

Step #6: Implement Your Plan

beauty brunette with sunglasses

Now it’s time to implement your plan. This phase is the key to transforming a “want” to a “get”. Without action, your dream will always remain just a dream.

Commit to the process you created 100%. Don’t let failure be an option. And, if something doesn’t work out the way you envisioned, that is okay. Figure out why it didn’t work and create a new way around it.

The best plans are the ones that are flexible. As long as you’re continuing to move in the direction that you want, you’re doing okay.

Step #7: Celebrate All of Your Accomplishments

Don’t wait for the end of the journey to celebrate all that you’ve been able to accomplish along the way. Every time you take a step forward, pat yourself on the back. Constant positive reinforcement will help keep you motivated to get where you want to be.

They don’t have to be money or item based either. Maybe you’ll commit to taking a nice relaxing bath with candles and soothing music, or perhaps you’ll give yourself an afternoon off work to enjoy a nice walk in the park.

Of course, you could pick celebrations that will help you progress as well. For example, if your goal is weight loss, you could decide to honor your hard work with new workout outfits that not only make you feel good but also support what it is that you’re trying to achieve.

You can get what you want if you know how to go about it. Now that you know, go get it girl!

How To Stop Being Self-conscious

Being self-conscious is an issue that has been plaguing women since the beginning of time. With these tips, you’ll regain your confidence and put an end to this issue.

Ladies, why are we so hard on ourselves? Why are we so critical? No matter the source of your insecurity—whether it’s from social media, people’s comments or clothing sizes—your insecurities can vanish.

It would seem that being critical of ourselves is learned right from the start. To look at yourself in the mirror and hate what you see, or to be walking in an outfit and realize it’s so unflattering is not a good way to live life.

What’s worse are the advertisements, models, store sizes and people who feed these insecurities.

It doesn’t have to be this way. In fact, you can easily change this. Now, I’m sure you’re thinking how or where do I sign up. Well, there’s no need to sign up.

This isn’t a miracle drug or some retreat that sends you to an Amazonian island. This is you: it all comes down to you. Here’s how not to be critical or self conscious.

How to stop being self conscious about your body

Young woman looking herself reflection in mirror at home
First thing in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror while wearing your chosen outfit for the day. Unlike the fairy tale, you aren’t going to ask how you look; you’re going to stand in front of the mirror and say at least five things you like about yourself.

In order for this to work better and to have results quicker, try not to repeat the same thoughts every day. If it is a day you’re going on a date or a girls’ night out, you might want to do this not only in the morning, but also later on in the outfit you’ll be wearing that night.

The key for this to be effective and to work is to stand in front of the mirror for a while, really think and enforce the positive thoughts. Do not encourage or even think of anything remotely negative; if you do, push it out of your head right away.

Self conscious disorder and negativity

Ignoring negativity is also key. Negative influences could be people and rude comments that make you feel horrible even for no reason. If this is the case, you need to tune them out.

Remember your five points from earlier and, in a way, make a mantra of the five points. However, one of the most negative influences most people don’t even notice is themselves when they see an ad on media.

Most women or even young girls who see these ads beat themselves up for not looking like the model. To them, the model is what society and men deem as attractive.

Seeing these ads shouldn’t create a strong enough influence where we start to think why we are not skinny, pretty, toned or lean enough. Now, being overweight is not healthy, and if that’s the case, then exercise and food changes are important.

However, in most scenarios, it’s important not to change yourself. The models in these ads are not only photoshopped, but could also easily be unhealthy.

The key to tuning out negativity is to learn to love yourself and be confident instead of beating yourself up over what you don’t look like. By doing this, you’ll wake up one day and all negativity will be gone and you will have officially tuned it out.

Self consciousness vs self awareness

Beautiful woman smiling and sitting

If you’re going to change yourself for other people or to go with what is socially trending, then don’t. This can be unhealthy, and will also make you less confident.

The best way to change is to change for what you truly want. This is not only healthy, but will satisfy and boost your confidence as it goes with what your ideal image of yourself is, not the ideal image others or the media has placed on you. This will also help you to remain confident.

How to stop being self conscious and shy

Young successful businesswoman with gorgeous smile talk on smart phone during her work break in cafe

This is crucial. If you are not confident or do not work on building your confidence, then every time someone makes a comment or you see something that brings you down, you’ll believe it and fall into that rut of not liking what you see.

Confidence is the good vibe that protects you from the bad. The more confidence you have, the better you’ll be and the less insecure you’ll feel.

It is also crucial to remember to avoid negativity and to kick all negativity out of your life even if this means leaving behind friends, family or your partner—yes, that’s hard, but it will make you feel so much better, and will help to increase confidence and welcome better lifestyle choices.

Every tip listed above will help you feel confident and you will start to believe in yourself fully. If you have any more tips on how to not be insecure of yourself, feel free to share!

10 Reasons Why Getting Older Is Actually The Best

Often getting older is painted in a negative light as if it’s the worst thing that could happen to a person. We are here to prove it to you that getting older is a good thing.

The truth is, though, is that aging doesn’t suck. In fact, it’s the best thing that can happen to a person. There is way more perks about getting older than there are about staying young.

You (hopefully) get wiser


After making it through every single thing you’ve ever had to deal with you become much smarter than you ever were. You make better decisions because of all the life knowledge you’ve accumulated.

When you’re able to utilize your newfound wisdom you are able to create the life you want without having to jump through hoops of mistakes to get there. You’ve already made the mistakes and are now fully ready to take your life to the best possible level.

You’re more comfortable to be who you are

Getting older makes you more at ease with who you are as a person. You no longer feel the need to impress people or hide certain aspects of yourself because you realize that the people who you need in your life are the ones that love you exactly for you are.

You embrace your quirks and guilty pleasures and are even proud of your weirdness because the only person that needs to accept you for you are is you, and now that your old enough to realize that you finally can.

You appreciate time more

When you’re time on this earth gets less and less it makes you really appreciate it. You realize that wasting any time on things that aren’t making you happy is really just pointless. When time is limited you learn to live in the moments and that’s a beautiful thing.

You take better care of yourself


You’re eating healthier and exercising regularly. You have routine check ups at the doctors and dentist and are making sure that you are taking optimum steps to ensure everything is running perfectly.

When you take care of yourself you feel better and it’s a whole lot more important the older you get. Not only are you treating your body as the temple that it is, you are also allowing yourself to feel better about it because you know that as long as you have your back, you’ll be fine.

You’re comfortable in your own skin

When you reach a certain age you no longer feel the need to compare yourself to others and insecurities you used to hold have simply melted away. You realize that they are more important things than obsessing over your appearance in comparison to those younger than you because you don’t have to be a model to be beautiful.

You’re more financially secure

You’ve spent the better part of your life working like a dog to ensure that your career took off in the way that you wanted it to. Now that you are secure in your job and have made some money to bank you have more financial freedom.

It’s a serious stress relief to know that you can take care of yourself financially and as you get older it only gets easier.

You’re better at relationships and dealing with your emotions

After spending years in different less-than-ideal unions you are now a master at relationships. You know exactly what you want from a partner and what you don’t want.

When it comes down to dealing with conflict in relationships, which is completely unavoidable, you now know how to handle your emotions gracefully all the while picking your battles.

You know what you want and how to ask for it


It takes decades to figure out what you truly want out of life and then a couple more years to decide how you should go about getting it.

When you get older this not only becomes easier, it also becomes something you aren’t willing to compromise on.

The things you want are always in your grasp and you know that now because of all the experience you have with not getting what you want.

You won’t put up with things that don’t serve you

Being disrespected in any situation is easier when you’re younger but when you get a bit older there are certain things you just won’t stand for. And not only will you not stand for them, you don’t waste your time dwelling on them either.

You’ve learnt to let go of things that aren’t good for you without all that ‘did I make the right decision’ backlash.

You care less about things that don’t matter. And more about things that do.

You’ve come to finally realize that certain things won’t matter in the long run and can consciously move on from them without any sort of emotional setbacks.

The things that do matter are given more attention because although it’s taken you time to realize the difference between the two, you’re finally aware of where you should be putting all your energy.

So there we have it. Getting older doesn’t suck. In fact, if you’re lucky enough to get to do so, it’s actually kind of amazing. Did I miss any other perks of aging? Share them below!